How to keep your resolutions?

It’s the beginning of a new year and, like every year, many of us make “good resolutions for the year”: quit smoking, lose weight, get back to sport, go to bed earlier, make an appointment with the dentist, tidy up the attic, stop getting angry, work less on weekends, read more, etc.

However, by the end of the year, how many of those resolutions will we really have achieved? In fact, they don’t really have an extraordinary success rate: 80% fail by the first week of February!

Here are some ideas that may help you see things more clearly. Let’s start with a few mistakes to avoid:

Mistake n°1: Making overly ambitious resolutions

The first reason why resolutions don’t last long is that they’re too ambitious. We tend to want to make changes that are too big and drastic, and the effort it takes is not sustainable over time.

And then, after the few days of rest for Christmas and New Year, life, work, old habits quickly take over.

We then start to make some concessions: instead of 1 hour of gym every day we go to 1/2 hour; instead of going to bed at 10 a.m., we tell yourself that 11 a.m. is already early enough, etc. And this is how, little by little, the great resolutions diminish every day until they disappear completely.

But this is exactly the opposite of what should be done.

James Clear explains why small habits make a big difference. A 1% improvement isn’t particularly noticeable – sometimes it isn’t even – but it can be much more significant, in the long run. Do the math: 1% per week = 67% at the end of the year!

This is one of the main reasons why it is so difficult to create lasting habits. People make a few small changes, see no tangible results and decide to quit (James CLEAR – Atomic Habits –2018).

Mistake n°2: Wanting to start implementing all intentions in January

The change of year has been a good time for you to take stock of the past year, list your bad habits, and set yourself goals for the one that is starting. It’s a bit like a life-saving step, a way of affirming your desire for change for the months to come. However, is it necessary to start immediately with all the changes? Is it to convince oneself that “this time is the right one”?

As a leader, aren’t you a strategic planner? What would you recommend to your colleagues, if they wanted to make big changes in their department? It’s the same here, you have to plan. A suggestion would be to choose only one resolution per month for example, no more.

Mistake nº3: not being convinced of the validity of the intentions

By the way, what is the real motivation for these resolutions? Why take them precisely in January? Is it to do like everyone else? Do you think taking them early in the year will give you a better chance of getting there? Is it out of bad conscience? Perhaps you’ve read a book on the habits of leaders, and want to do the same?

In fact: are you really convinced of the merits of these resolutions, are they really necessary?

Before undertaking the difficult task of changing your life, it is important to ask yourself the question about the deep motivations, to know what the planned changes will bring, for your well-being. Ask yourself “Why?”, consecutively, and repeatedly, until you are sure that it is really something you want to do and that you are convinced of the beneficial consequences of the result.

How to empower yourself for success

Above all, it is important to differentiate between the resolutions concerning the habits you want to change, adopt or lose (get back to sport for example, or spend more time with your family), and the specific results you want to achieve (tidy up the garage , make an appointment with the dentist).

In the first case, it is a change of lifestyle for which a strategy must be put in place. In the second, it is a matter of procrastination.

Habits

It is not easy to change or adopt a habit, it is even difficult, but not impossible. We must first understand that these are necessary for the functioning of our brain. Habits allow it to rest from time to time by putting our actions in automatic mode.

That’s why we don’t need to consciously think about our every action, including things like walking, breathing, eating, etc. As a result, our brain can keep its vigor for more important tasks.

According to Charles Duhigg, habits follow a 3-step cycle: signal-behaviour-reward (Charles DUHIGG – The Power of Habit – 2013), so you have to act on these three steps to get results.

Procrastination

“Procrastination is not laziness. We don’t postpone tasks to avoid working. We do it to avoid unpleasant emotions.” — Adam Grant

My piano teacher, to whom I explained that I had not been able to do the daily exercises that she had left me, used to tell me that “willing is power”. Unfortunately it’s not that simple, and procrastination is certainly as difficult to understand and solve as changing habits. In this Ted Talk, Tim URBAN explains very simply, and with humor, the mechanism: it’s as if an inner voice, “the monkey of instant gratification”, invites you not to do what another voice, that of the “rational decision-maker” asks you to do. It is therefore a question of understanding the motivations of the “monkey”, then sending it for a walk or giving it another function…

Tips

Here are some suggestions for making and keeping your New Year’s resolutions:

Tip nº1: establish what you want to obtain in the year: choose a theme

Once you really know why you want to undertake a resolution (see error nº3) it will be easy for you to define the theme of the year. For example, if your intention is to return to sports and/or lose weight (they often come together…), your theme for the year could be “physical well-being” or “health”. Preferably choose a short word or phrase.

From there, all the new actions you take during the year must be aligned with this annual macro objective.

Tip nº2: be SMART, make an action plan

SMART goals are one of the best methods for setting goals and maximizing the chances of success. The acronym means that the objectives must be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-bound (for more information: consult the internet…).

Once defined, draw up an action plan, month by month, by planning the schedules on your calendar. If your intention is to spend more time with your family, block out the schedule!

Tip nº3: Sign up for a think tank to truly engage with other leaders.

Co-Reflection circles are privileged meeting places for the business world. Forged around confidentiality and through the dynamics of coaching, they ensure the effectiveness of meetings. By joining a Circle of Co-Reflection you benefit from the exchange and advice of a panel of leaders selected to measure to avoid conflicts of interest. It proposes concrete actions that benefit all participants, based on real issues brought forward by one of the members of the circle.

Personal behavior, habits, procrastination, are recurring subjects which are treated in the circles, and whose solutions brought by the members benefit everyone.

Tip nº4: Get accompanied by an International Executive Coach

Whether it’s habits or procrastination, we’re dealing with unconscious actions your brain takes to save energy. This is why you will need to do real awareness work in order to fully understand the processes.

It will then be necessary for you to inform yourself, to learn from researchers who have studied these questions for years, in order to fully understand the mechanisms of both habit formation and procrastination. We mention a few authors above.

You can then consciously choose which path to take, with full awareness. Decide if you really want to change this behavior, or not, and what is the well-being that you will achieve.

This approach: becoming aware – understanding – choosing, is the one that the Executive Coach expert in CO-CREATiVE Communication® helps you to do, by accompanying you with his knowledge and his experience. Such a coach will help you as much in the choice of your resolutions as in the process of achieving them.

Learn more about our support

Cadran offers dedicated support to managers who wish to get out of the manager’s loneliness by developing their Manager-Coach posture, their multicultural leadership and their teams of collaborators.

Our offers:

• Le coaching de la procrastination
• Les webinars mensuels du cycle « Le Leadership international avec la CO-CREATiVE Communication®» notamment ceux concernant l’outil ALPHA et la technique des 7C
• Coaching Individuel : « Leadership Coaching » — pour développer les softs-skills du dirigeant international d’excellence
• Coaching Collectif : « Coaching d’Équipe » — pour construire la confiance et la responsabilité dans les équipes.
• Coaching de Individuel : « Coaching de Sens » —permet d’élargir la connaissance de soi.
• Les Cercles de Co-Réflexion

Our “Challenge” Items:

• Comment sortir de la solitude du dirigeant à l’international ?

Our “Coaching” Articles:

• Les 5 bénéfices d’un coaching de la procrastination
• Les 6 bénéfices de la posture de Manager Coach
• Les 8 bénéfices d’un Leadership Coaching
• Les 3 bénéfices de l’Executive Coaching dans un parcours de dirigeant à l’international